Do you have any idea what you’re dealing with, baby? I have lumps in my throat bigger than you. Your less than a quarter century’s worth of double-dutch, magazine cut-outs, rides in an old car from your brother, stolen jewelry, and hard chewed-up bubble gum are no match for me. I have lived for a thousand years. There ain’t nothin’new you can show me. I have lived a hundred lives with your pearls in the palm of my hand but they haven’t done a thing to ease my mind. I got your senior photo in a rusty old frame. I got your notes in a shoebox. I’ve lived longer than the stones that hold your father underground. I have spit up too much blood to be moved by your crocodile tears.
Did you know that from a distance, vodka looks just like water? They don’t taste the same, tho’.
You deserve a diamond for your skinned knee.
Please don’t cross me.